What a year!

 It has been almost a year since COVID hit the US.  To be perfectly honest our family has been fairly unaffected.  My husbands business is still going strong, we still go and do most of what we would otherwise do, and we both contracted COVID with very minimal symptoms. Vacation was put on hold last summer - we just spent a few days at the beach near my mother-in-law.  My son's trip to Europe with SLU (Student Leadership University) was pushed to this summer and now has been cancelled.  However, life moves on.

Really the only major change has been with school.  In the spring I had to figure out how to teach virtually and Joshua and Hope had to try and learn that way.  To be perfectly honest, it was anything but ideal for all 3 of us.  School this year has been in person with the option of virtual when you have to be at home, but the added technology adds a whole other set of problems that teachers, students, and parents are trying to sort out.

In general life is good and I remind myself all the time that "God is good all the time".  However, here lately stress is really getting the better of me.  I don't feel like I'm doing a good job of anything and in part it's because I really don't want to do anything.  I find myself escaping into games on my phone, a tv show or movie, a nap, or just nothing at all.  I'm lacking in motivation.  On top of my own lack of motivation I'm feeling stressed over various things going on with the kids - attitude, school going poorly, too much screen time, their own feelings of mistreatment by us friends or teachers.  You name it, teenage-hood is in full swing at our house and I'm struggling with giving up control and letting my 17 year old fly on his own and guiding my daughter into being a young lady. 

Truthfully, I have days where I feel like a failure.  I also have days where I ache for Joshua because he's making choices that are causing painful consequences and I, like many parents I'm sure, don't want my kids to experience the pain of mistakes.  But, I am often reminded that in order to succeed you must fail along the way.  We learn from our mistakes.  Our struggles and failures build character and perseverance and in the end can make us stronger if we view them as learning opportunities.  

Looking to scripture we can see that God does not promise us an easy life because we follow him.  Quite the opposite - we are told hardship will come.  But, we are also told that God is with us and will see us through. In Isaiah 43:2 we are told "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."  What a beautiful picture to know that no matter what comes our way, we will not be swept away, we will not be consumed if we rely on the one that created us.  It reminds me of the story from Daniel where Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego are put into the furnace by Nebuchadnezzar.  The fire is so hot we are told the guards that put them in died!  The 3 men told Nebuchadnezzar that they knew that God could save them, but that even if He didn't they would not bow down.  What faith and assurance they exhibited in that moment. Then, when they were put into the fire, they were not alone.  A 4th figure appeared and spared them from the flames just as the verse in Isaiah refers.  They came out of the furnace unsinged.  Our God IS good.

It is true though that even though God is good and will see us through our struggles sometimes the pain is not healed.  Paul refers to this in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 -  "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  Sometimes God uses the struggles and weaknesses in our life to show us our need for Him.  We are able to give Him glory when we accomplish things despite our weaknesses and failures because when we acknowledge our shortcomings we must give him credit for the successes.  

Finally, I know in today's world sometimes there is real suffering that is never cured - cancer and disease, unspeakable tragedies that lead to death.  In this I am reminded of God's promises through Christ's death.  He died so that our physical death would not be the end or lead to damnation, but lead to eternity with Him.  Our suffering will ultimately end if we believe in the one that made us.  He will see His work completed in us.  So, we can look to our ultimate end with joy.  For as Paul also stated, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21 ESV)

So despite all of the days when I struggle and I feel like I'm failing or that just don't know what to do with the things that are in front of me, I will cling to the cross and enjoy His eternal peace.

John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”